The Burrito and the Boy

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Written by Rico

Sunday, August 30 2009 10:34

It was a brisk Sunday morning in early August and there was a buzz in the air. No not the sound of fuel pumps priming injectors or an angry bee hive near an improperly placed camp site, but the talk of a boy and his impending duel. A duel of epic proportions, or portions as it were. They were portions that most people couldn’t handle or even want to attempt to consume. But he dared to go down that road where only few have gone before and even fewer have reached the final destination. But he dared to venture down that path of fulfillment. Or just being full!

They gathered at the local eatery, Jack-N-Grill, in support of his journey and to enjoy great food and equally grand company. There was even some playful wildlife on hand to observe and even took in an interest in one of our own (or vice versa!) to make the day even more exciting!

So after they finally settled down and began to gather around the table, drinks began to flow, and orders were taken and the words were spoken. “I would like the seven pound burrito please.” “All for you?” the waitress asks? He replied calmly, “yes it is.” And as the other orders were placed, it was the only one ordered amongst the group. The only one who had the appetite to attempt it was a boy called Seth.

As the feast begins and drinks arrive, the overwhelming aroma of green chili’s permeates the air as they are roasted in the adjoining out door kitchen. The margaritas were strong and refreshing, the sodas were equally thirst quenching, and then comes the food. The bouquet of freshly made green chili and maple syrup in the air promised that this would be an excellent meal. Now the entrée’s began filing out of the kitchen and each RZO receives their dish. A myriad of breakfast tacos, bacon, eggs, hash browns, and other breakfast delights litter the table. And then it arrives…..

A plate to rival all plates in length, width, height, weight, density, and any other form of measure you can apply too a SEVEN POUND breakfast burrito you can insert here! It was immense! It consisted of one pound of ham, twelve eggs, one pound of potatoes, and assortment of peppers, onions, and smothered in green chili topped off with lettuce and tomatoes! It was incredible. As we sat there in awe of this behemoth of breakfast incarnation Seth just glanced back and said, “Well, here we go!” So with some last second well wishing, including a pat on the back from Jack himself, Seth proceeded to dig in.

The first few bites went well for Seth as the rest of us began to dive in to our meals, which were puny by comparison. It was the first bit of silence we had the entire morning as we devoured the unbelievable meals put before us. The green chili was just spicy enough, the eggs cooked to perfection, and the atmosphere was amazing with such a remarkable assembly of friends. Seth was coming along nicely and going at a steady pace, spoonful by spoonful. He took a very methodical approach to the adventure. Not letting outside influences cloud his judgment, he continued to devour the beast of a burrito, which would not go quietly.

Bite after bite, the Rock Zombies continued to applaud Seth, aka Knees, as he moved further down the platter. Potatoes came out of the wood work and were relentless in their efforts to halt the progress of our not so little friend. He pressed forward to show this burrito who was boss. He was almost half way, but that’s where he begins to slow down.

Spoonfuls become smaller and smaller, and chewing becomes slower and slower. We all look on in awe of how much he has consumed thus far, but see the laboring in his face bite after bite. Seth, the man child, the next contender to Kobayashi, was nearing the end of his journey down the road to immortality on the Jack N Grill Wall of Fame. And like a corner man saving his boxer, the boy threw in the towel cried, “No Mas!” The burrito had won.

So the end of the meal had arrived. Seth could not continue. They congratulated him on a job well done and the RZO’s reveled in his ability to get as deep into the massive meal as he did. And as they all left and went their separate ways, Seth said, “ Next time, I’ll get it. Next time.”